A Live Tree for Christmas

Jedd has tried for years to get me to agree to a live tree for Christmas.  I have resisted, because I had never had one and it seemed like more work.  This year, he was tricky and got the kids excited about the idea.  So we got one.  It turned out better than I had imagined.  At the nursery, there were only about 10 trees to choose from and only a few varieties.  Which made choosing a tree a fairly quick process.  While looking over the trees, Maxx looked in greenhouse and saw a guy trimming branches and a pile of tree clippings, most likely for wreaths. 

Maxx:  Oh, 'dose are da killed trees.  Look Ky-ya, 'dose trees are da killed ones.

The kid speaks the truth and calls it like he sees it. 

Leave it to Bieber

Last night while brushing teeth:

Me:  Maxx you need a haircut.  You're starting to get Justin Bieber hair.
Maxx:  Nuh-uh, Mom...  (laughing - at me) Beavers don't have hair!!!

Boys will be Men

Last month I helped out at Maxx's class Thanksgiving Feast.  After the kids had gorged themselves on sliced turkey, stuffing, corn, sandwiches cut into turkey shapes, turkey shaped cookies, pumpkin patch cupcakes and sugar cone teepees, one of Maxx's classmates turned to me.

Levi: Um, he just burped (pointing to Maxx).
Me: Yah, he does that.  Sometimes at home, he has great, big ole man burps!
Levi: Oh.  Sometimes I have great, big man farts.

Back to the Future

Something I never thought I'd hear my mom say:  "Just Google it.  You can find out all about it."

I think my jaw dropped.  I know my eyebrows raised in surprise.  I can't even recall what she was suggesting we Google.

That statement was then followed up by a confession, "I don't really know what that means.  But your father is always saying it!"

I think I just saw a glimpse of my own future, with my grown children someday...

Bathroom Talk

Kids love to talk about booties and farting, pooping and peeing, etc.  My kids are no exception.  So sometimes I will tell them, "Enough with the bathroom talk."

Since Maxx has become potty trained, we have had to get into the routine of hand washing also.  I help encourage the process and technique by singing a little song that Kyla learned at daycare, when she was potty training.

Top and bottom
Top and bottom
In between
In between
Rub it all together
Rub it all together
Now they're clean
Nice and clean

It is sung to the tune of "Where is Thumbkin," which might be another, more well known tune, but for the life of me right now, I cannot think of it.  Oh, well.

Anyhow, if I don't sing the song for Maxx right away, he will say, "Mom, can you do that wittle baffroom talk for me?"  To which I am happy to oblige.

WTF?

Sometimes the kids say things that really make me stop and think, "What the heck are they talking about?" or "Should I be seriously worried about what is going on in their little, developing brains?"

In a single car ride, we had three different conversations that kind of got me wondering...

Conversation #1:
Maxx: Oh, man, that car passed us!  Faster, Daddy, faster.  All 'dose cars passed us!
Me: It's not a race Maxx. 

We might need to hold off a little longer than normal for Maxx to get his driver's license.  With his obsession with racing and crashing, I'm thinking he might not be the safest driver.

Conversation #2:
Talking about winning and losing.
Kyla: I know.  Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Me: Right.  The important thing is that you always try your hardest.
Jedd: Yep.  Sometimes you don't win, but there is nothing you can do about it.
Maxx: You can BEW (shoot) 'dem!
 - pause to recover from shock and stifle laughter -
Me: Well, Maxx, in most situations, bewing people is not going to be appropriate.
Maxx: If 'dey pirates.  If 'dey bad pirates!
Me:  I guess if they're bad pirates...

Conversation #3:
We saw some deer cross the road, near a lake, and Jedd explained that they were probably getting a drink of water.
Jedd:  Deer go to the water in the morning and in the evening.
Kyla:  But not during the day?
Jedd:  No, they usually bed down during the day.
Maxx:  And 'dey break 'dey heads off?

Uh?!?!?!?!?!

One thing at a time

Sometimes when the kids are both asking for things or asking for something over and over again, without waiting, I will say, in exasperation, "I can only do one thing at a time!"

This morning, I was making pancakes, cutting them up for Maxx while others were still cooking, and serving pancakes to Kyla.  Maxx asked for some water, but I had to get the other pancakes out of the pan before they burned.

Maxx:  Mommmm!  Water, please!  Water.  Water!
Me: Maxx, wait!  I can only do one thing at a time.
Maxx: 'Cause you only have two han's.  (If that's how he rationalizes it...  okay.)

Maxx: Well, I wish we could build a wobot.  Den he could help you.

Is that his fathers son, or what?!?!  Jedd will be so proud.