WTF?

Sometimes the kids say things that really make me stop and think, "What the heck are they talking about?" or "Should I be seriously worried about what is going on in their little, developing brains?"

In a single car ride, we had three different conversations that kind of got me wondering...

Conversation #1:
Maxx: Oh, man, that car passed us!  Faster, Daddy, faster.  All 'dose cars passed us!
Me: It's not a race Maxx. 

We might need to hold off a little longer than normal for Maxx to get his driver's license.  With his obsession with racing and crashing, I'm thinking he might not be the safest driver.

Conversation #2:
Talking about winning and losing.
Kyla: I know.  Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Me: Right.  The important thing is that you always try your hardest.
Jedd: Yep.  Sometimes you don't win, but there is nothing you can do about it.
Maxx: You can BEW (shoot) 'dem!
 - pause to recover from shock and stifle laughter -
Me: Well, Maxx, in most situations, bewing people is not going to be appropriate.
Maxx: If 'dey pirates.  If 'dey bad pirates!
Me:  I guess if they're bad pirates...

Conversation #3:
We saw some deer cross the road, near a lake, and Jedd explained that they were probably getting a drink of water.
Jedd:  Deer go to the water in the morning and in the evening.
Kyla:  But not during the day?
Jedd:  No, they usually bed down during the day.
Maxx:  And 'dey break 'dey heads off?

Uh?!?!?!?!?!

One thing at a time

Sometimes when the kids are both asking for things or asking for something over and over again, without waiting, I will say, in exasperation, "I can only do one thing at a time!"

This morning, I was making pancakes, cutting them up for Maxx while others were still cooking, and serving pancakes to Kyla.  Maxx asked for some water, but I had to get the other pancakes out of the pan before they burned.

Maxx:  Mommmm!  Water, please!  Water.  Water!
Me: Maxx, wait!  I can only do one thing at a time.
Maxx: 'Cause you only have two han's.  (If that's how he rationalizes it...  okay.)

Maxx: Well, I wish we could build a wobot.  Den he could help you.

Is that his fathers son, or what?!?!  Jedd will be so proud.

Wish List

Whenever the kids tell me they want something at the store, I tell them we can put it on their birthday or Christmas list.  Throughout the year, they add a lot of crap to their lists.  Usually I just nod and say okay.  Some of the items really do make it on to their lists.  Other requests just make me shake my head.

Yesterday at Costco, the kids got to sample (among other things) red velvet cupcakes and spinach artichoke dip.

Kyla: Mmmm...  I want these cupcakes for my birthday party!  And I want this (dip) for my birthday, too!
Me: Okay, let's try to remember that.
Kyla: And mom, I want a new barbie and fake make-up.  Can you put that on my birthday list?
Me: We'll see.  (I've had to explain that just because something is on the list, doesn't mean they will get it, or all of the items, either.)
Maxx (not to be left out of the conversation):  And I want...  a new pair of shoes and a suitcase for my birf-day.

I think Maxx may not get the concept of the wish list.  The other day in the grocery store he told me he wanted me to buy "dat," which was a bag of peanuts.  I told him we were not going to buy them.

Maxx: Well, den you put dat on my birf-day list?
Me: You want me to put peanuts on your birthday list?
Maxx:  Yah, 'cause I weally wike dem!
Me: We'll see.  And you know what, I don't really think you actually do like nuts, buddy.
Maxx:  Well, I do...

(He doesn't.)

Conspiracy Theorist

I have a feeling that Kyla will not hold onto believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. for very long.  She keeps asking logistical questions about how these characters manage their jobs and maneuver about, and why we never see them, and where they live.

Kyla:  So, um, well, I am just a little confused about Santa Claus.  How does he even get in our house and up the chimney.  'Cause... that's kind of a big, fat belly.
Maxx:  Umi Zoomi helped him.  I sawed that show!
Kyla:  And, I'm a little confused that he lives in the North Pole.  How can anyone even live there?
Me:  Well, I think some people live at the North Pole. (I just looked it up, and apparently no one does live there.  Scientists visit, but no one lives there.  North Pole, AK is a town of 2000, though.  FYI.)
Kyla:  Oh.  That is unusual (her new word).  Most people just live in the middle of the earth or on the sides.

Baby Ruffy & Jury Duty

For Father's Day, we went to Grandma Kay and Papa's house.  When we left, Maxx said, "What 'bout Ba'y Ruff Ruff?"  Jedd and I were sure that we didn't bring him and we left.  When we got home though, no Baby Ruffy...  Called Grandma Kay and sure enough, he was there...

I told Maxx we would have to wait until morning to go get him.  Maxx was not pleased.

Maxx:  We go now.

Me:  No, it's too late.  It's dark out and you need to go to sleep.

Maxx:  You go bys yours self?

Me:  No, I'm tired, too.  And Grandma Kay and Papa are going to sleep, too.

Maxx:  Dey got PJs?

Me:  Yes, I'm sure they have pajamas.  They are going to take good care of Baby Ruff Ruff.

Maxx:  Dey gon' sweep wiff him?

Me:  Do you want them to?

Maxx:  No.

Me:  Okay, then, they won't sleep with him.  

Surprisingly, Maxx slept all night with out any problems.  He must have been really worn out from the day.  First thing in the morning, though, he came into the room and asked, "We get Ba'y Ruff Ruff, now?"

Fortunately, Papa was able to meet us halfway to have lunch and make the delivery.  I told the kids we would have lunch with Papa, but not Grandma Kay because she had jury duty. 

Kyla: What is jury duty.

Me: Well (wracking my brain for a simple way to explain), remember how people who don't have good self control sometimes do bad things and go to jail? 

Kyla: Yes.

Me:  Well, if they do something bad, they get arrested.  Then they have to go to court to tell the judge why they did those bad things.  And the judge will listen to them and decide if they can go home or if they have to go back to jail.  The jury helps the judge decide where they will go after they are arrested.

Kyla: Oh.

The conversation went on a bit longer.

In the car, on the way to meet Papa, I again told the kids that Grandma Kay was not going to be there, since she had jury duty.

Kyla:  But mom, why is Grandma Kay going to jail?

Me:  Oh, no, Grandma Kay isn't going to jail!

Kyla:  But, why did she get arrested?

Clearly a very key distinction was lost in the explanation of jury duty.  I explained again, making sure to point out that Grandma Kay was helping to decide what would happen to someone ELSE who had gotten arrested.  

Scary Stuff

Kyla has been experiencing some obsessive spider fear recently.  A couple nights in a row she woke up  in the middle of the night due to bad dreams and was sure there was a spider in her room.

Recently in the car, she confided to me:

Kyla: Mommy, I believe in Jesus that I will not get pinched by a black weirdo...

Me: (thinking, what in the world?!?!)

Kyla: but that is the spider that I am worried about the most.

Oh...

Turns out that when the kids found a garden snake in the driveway, the neighbor mom told them about Black Widow spiders, too.  Kyla does NOT like spiders, so that really got her worried!

S'ghetti

Tonight I was going to make grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.  But Maxx told me he wanted s'ghetti.  Since we had been apart for 5 whole days, I obliged as best I could.  Spaghetti and canned pasta sauce with sauteed zucchini on the side.  He ate two helpings of spaghetti and almost 3 helpings of zucchini.  About halfway through his second helping of spaghetti, he said, "Hey, d'ere no meatbowls in here!"

Me: Uh, no, there are not.
Maxx: But s'ghettis always need meatbowls!

Point taken.  Guess I'm going to need a good recipe for meatballs.  Maybe I can find some good frozen ones...