A Live Tree for Christmas

Jedd has tried for years to get me to agree to a live tree for Christmas.  I have resisted, because I had never had one and it seemed like more work.  This year, he was tricky and got the kids excited about the idea.  So we got one.  It turned out better than I had imagined.  At the nursery, there were only about 10 trees to choose from and only a few varieties.  Which made choosing a tree a fairly quick process.  While looking over the trees, Maxx looked in greenhouse and saw a guy trimming branches and a pile of tree clippings, most likely for wreaths. 

Maxx:  Oh, 'dose are da killed trees.  Look Ky-ya, 'dose trees are da killed ones.

The kid speaks the truth and calls it like he sees it. 

Leave it to Bieber

Last night while brushing teeth:

Me:  Maxx you need a haircut.  You're starting to get Justin Bieber hair.
Maxx:  Nuh-uh, Mom...  (laughing - at me) Beavers don't have hair!!!

Boys will be Men

Last month I helped out at Maxx's class Thanksgiving Feast.  After the kids had gorged themselves on sliced turkey, stuffing, corn, sandwiches cut into turkey shapes, turkey shaped cookies, pumpkin patch cupcakes and sugar cone teepees, one of Maxx's classmates turned to me.

Levi: Um, he just burped (pointing to Maxx).
Me: Yah, he does that.  Sometimes at home, he has great, big ole man burps!
Levi: Oh.  Sometimes I have great, big man farts.

Back to the Future

Something I never thought I'd hear my mom say:  "Just Google it.  You can find out all about it."

I think my jaw dropped.  I know my eyebrows raised in surprise.  I can't even recall what she was suggesting we Google.

That statement was then followed up by a confession, "I don't really know what that means.  But your father is always saying it!"

I think I just saw a glimpse of my own future, with my grown children someday...

Bathroom Talk

Kids love to talk about booties and farting, pooping and peeing, etc.  My kids are no exception.  So sometimes I will tell them, "Enough with the bathroom talk."

Since Maxx has become potty trained, we have had to get into the routine of hand washing also.  I help encourage the process and technique by singing a little song that Kyla learned at daycare, when she was potty training.

Top and bottom
Top and bottom
In between
In between
Rub it all together
Rub it all together
Now they're clean
Nice and clean

It is sung to the tune of "Where is Thumbkin," which might be another, more well known tune, but for the life of me right now, I cannot think of it.  Oh, well.

Anyhow, if I don't sing the song for Maxx right away, he will say, "Mom, can you do that wittle baffroom talk for me?"  To which I am happy to oblige.

WTF?

Sometimes the kids say things that really make me stop and think, "What the heck are they talking about?" or "Should I be seriously worried about what is going on in their little, developing brains?"

In a single car ride, we had three different conversations that kind of got me wondering...

Conversation #1:
Maxx: Oh, man, that car passed us!  Faster, Daddy, faster.  All 'dose cars passed us!
Me: It's not a race Maxx. 

We might need to hold off a little longer than normal for Maxx to get his driver's license.  With his obsession with racing and crashing, I'm thinking he might not be the safest driver.

Conversation #2:
Talking about winning and losing.
Kyla: I know.  Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Me: Right.  The important thing is that you always try your hardest.
Jedd: Yep.  Sometimes you don't win, but there is nothing you can do about it.
Maxx: You can BEW (shoot) 'dem!
 - pause to recover from shock and stifle laughter -
Me: Well, Maxx, in most situations, bewing people is not going to be appropriate.
Maxx: If 'dey pirates.  If 'dey bad pirates!
Me:  I guess if they're bad pirates...

Conversation #3:
We saw some deer cross the road, near a lake, and Jedd explained that they were probably getting a drink of water.
Jedd:  Deer go to the water in the morning and in the evening.
Kyla:  But not during the day?
Jedd:  No, they usually bed down during the day.
Maxx:  And 'dey break 'dey heads off?

Uh?!?!?!?!?!

One thing at a time

Sometimes when the kids are both asking for things or asking for something over and over again, without waiting, I will say, in exasperation, "I can only do one thing at a time!"

This morning, I was making pancakes, cutting them up for Maxx while others were still cooking, and serving pancakes to Kyla.  Maxx asked for some water, but I had to get the other pancakes out of the pan before they burned.

Maxx:  Mommmm!  Water, please!  Water.  Water!
Me: Maxx, wait!  I can only do one thing at a time.
Maxx: 'Cause you only have two han's.  (If that's how he rationalizes it...  okay.)

Maxx: Well, I wish we could build a wobot.  Den he could help you.

Is that his fathers son, or what?!?!  Jedd will be so proud.

Wish List

Whenever the kids tell me they want something at the store, I tell them we can put it on their birthday or Christmas list.  Throughout the year, they add a lot of crap to their lists.  Usually I just nod and say okay.  Some of the items really do make it on to their lists.  Other requests just make me shake my head.

Yesterday at Costco, the kids got to sample (among other things) red velvet cupcakes and spinach artichoke dip.

Kyla: Mmmm...  I want these cupcakes for my birthday party!  And I want this (dip) for my birthday, too!
Me: Okay, let's try to remember that.
Kyla: And mom, I want a new barbie and fake make-up.  Can you put that on my birthday list?
Me: We'll see.  (I've had to explain that just because something is on the list, doesn't mean they will get it, or all of the items, either.)
Maxx (not to be left out of the conversation):  And I want...  a new pair of shoes and a suitcase for my birf-day.

I think Maxx may not get the concept of the wish list.  The other day in the grocery store he told me he wanted me to buy "dat," which was a bag of peanuts.  I told him we were not going to buy them.

Maxx: Well, den you put dat on my birf-day list?
Me: You want me to put peanuts on your birthday list?
Maxx:  Yah, 'cause I weally wike dem!
Me: We'll see.  And you know what, I don't really think you actually do like nuts, buddy.
Maxx:  Well, I do...

(He doesn't.)

Conspiracy Theorist

I have a feeling that Kyla will not hold onto believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. for very long.  She keeps asking logistical questions about how these characters manage their jobs and maneuver about, and why we never see them, and where they live.

Kyla:  So, um, well, I am just a little confused about Santa Claus.  How does he even get in our house and up the chimney.  'Cause... that's kind of a big, fat belly.
Maxx:  Umi Zoomi helped him.  I sawed that show!
Kyla:  And, I'm a little confused that he lives in the North Pole.  How can anyone even live there?
Me:  Well, I think some people live at the North Pole. (I just looked it up, and apparently no one does live there.  Scientists visit, but no one lives there.  North Pole, AK is a town of 2000, though.  FYI.)
Kyla:  Oh.  That is unusual (her new word).  Most people just live in the middle of the earth or on the sides.

Baby Ruffy & Jury Duty

For Father's Day, we went to Grandma Kay and Papa's house.  When we left, Maxx said, "What 'bout Ba'y Ruff Ruff?"  Jedd and I were sure that we didn't bring him and we left.  When we got home though, no Baby Ruffy...  Called Grandma Kay and sure enough, he was there...

I told Maxx we would have to wait until morning to go get him.  Maxx was not pleased.

Maxx:  We go now.

Me:  No, it's too late.  It's dark out and you need to go to sleep.

Maxx:  You go bys yours self?

Me:  No, I'm tired, too.  And Grandma Kay and Papa are going to sleep, too.

Maxx:  Dey got PJs?

Me:  Yes, I'm sure they have pajamas.  They are going to take good care of Baby Ruff Ruff.

Maxx:  Dey gon' sweep wiff him?

Me:  Do you want them to?

Maxx:  No.

Me:  Okay, then, they won't sleep with him.  

Surprisingly, Maxx slept all night with out any problems.  He must have been really worn out from the day.  First thing in the morning, though, he came into the room and asked, "We get Ba'y Ruff Ruff, now?"

Fortunately, Papa was able to meet us halfway to have lunch and make the delivery.  I told the kids we would have lunch with Papa, but not Grandma Kay because she had jury duty. 

Kyla: What is jury duty.

Me: Well (wracking my brain for a simple way to explain), remember how people who don't have good self control sometimes do bad things and go to jail? 

Kyla: Yes.

Me:  Well, if they do something bad, they get arrested.  Then they have to go to court to tell the judge why they did those bad things.  And the judge will listen to them and decide if they can go home or if they have to go back to jail.  The jury helps the judge decide where they will go after they are arrested.

Kyla: Oh.

The conversation went on a bit longer.

In the car, on the way to meet Papa, I again told the kids that Grandma Kay was not going to be there, since she had jury duty.

Kyla:  But mom, why is Grandma Kay going to jail?

Me:  Oh, no, Grandma Kay isn't going to jail!

Kyla:  But, why did she get arrested?

Clearly a very key distinction was lost in the explanation of jury duty.  I explained again, making sure to point out that Grandma Kay was helping to decide what would happen to someone ELSE who had gotten arrested.  

Scary Stuff

Kyla has been experiencing some obsessive spider fear recently.  A couple nights in a row she woke up  in the middle of the night due to bad dreams and was sure there was a spider in her room.

Recently in the car, she confided to me:

Kyla: Mommy, I believe in Jesus that I will not get pinched by a black weirdo...

Me: (thinking, what in the world?!?!)

Kyla: but that is the spider that I am worried about the most.

Oh...

Turns out that when the kids found a garden snake in the driveway, the neighbor mom told them about Black Widow spiders, too.  Kyla does NOT like spiders, so that really got her worried!

S'ghetti

Tonight I was going to make grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.  But Maxx told me he wanted s'ghetti.  Since we had been apart for 5 whole days, I obliged as best I could.  Spaghetti and canned pasta sauce with sauteed zucchini on the side.  He ate two helpings of spaghetti and almost 3 helpings of zucchini.  About halfway through his second helping of spaghetti, he said, "Hey, d'ere no meatbowls in here!"

Me: Uh, no, there are not.
Maxx: But s'ghettis always need meatbowls!

Point taken.  Guess I'm going to need a good recipe for meatballs.  Maybe I can find some good frozen ones...

I Say A Little Prayer

This past weekend Jedd and Maxx went to the Indy 500 with Poppy and Uncle Richard.  Since the boys were out of town, Kyla and I headed to Chelan to keep Nana company and have a little adventure of our own.  On the last day, as we were driving away from Nana's house, Kyla told me, "Mom, sometimes I pray in my head."

Me: Hey, I do that, too.  What do you pray about?
Kyla: Things I want. 
Me: Of course.
Kyla: And our family and my friends.  And, like, Abby, that she would feel better.  (Abby is the sister of one of her classmates, who has been having on-going medical issues for quite some time now.)
Me: Those are good things to pray for.
Kyla: But today is the first time that I prayed for Daddy AND Maxx together.
Me: What did you pray for?
Kyla: That they would make it home safe on the airplane and, um, that they have a fun day.
Me: Oh, me, too, Sweetie.

Fortunately, she was in the back seat and didn't see my tears.  My little sweetheart.

Good vs. Bad

Another great conversation in the car.  I'm noticing that Maxx instigates some really deep conversations in the car.  I'm not sure if it's just because we are both captive audiences to one another or if the car somehow evokes meaningful topics for him.  Regardless, it cracks me up and I love it.

Maxx: Ba'y Wuff Wuff no good boy.
Me: He's not a good boy?  Why not?
Maxx: 'Cause he a doggie.
Me: Oh, right.  Well, is he a good doggie?
Maxx:  Yah.  But sometimes he poops.  On cars.
Me: Why does he poop on cars?
Maxx: 'Cause 'dey bad guys.
Me: Oh, well, okay.
Maxx: And 'dey angry.  'Dey angry bad guys.

Maxx has a particularly strong "good guy/bad guy" imagination going on.  He's constantly talking about bad guys in other cars and wants me to pretend we are racing them.  Or he tells me he is going to "bew" (shoot) them with his "bew bew" (gun).  When I tell him that is not nice, he gets a slightly exasperated tone and says, "Mommm, I jus' 'tending."

Monster Truck

Driving home from dropping Kyla off at school, we passed a big, black F350 with big knobby tires.  It was jacked up and had a shiny chrome exhaust smoke stack.  In the back window, there was a single skull decal.

Maxx: Look, Mommy.  'Der monster truck.
Me: Yes, I see that.
Maxx: But why dat monster truck got a'gry (angry) bad guy on it?
Me: Hmmm, I don't know. Why do you think?
Maxx: Mmmm, maybe it a MONSTER monster truck.

Clouds

On a cloudy morning...

Maxx: Mama, I wan' poke dat cwoud.
Me: You want to poke that cloud?
Maxx: Yah, wiff mine finger.
Me: Okay.
Maxx: 'Den mine finger will be all cwoudy!
Me: I guess so.
Maxx: I no wike cwouds.
Me: You don't like to eat clouds?
Maxx: No, but 'dey wike eat mine finger.
Me: They do?
Maxx: Yah, but 'dey wike eat trees better.  'Cause 'dey make 'dem BIG! And STRONG!

New Car

A conversation with Maxx the other day, while driving in the car...

Maxx:  Where Daddy?
Me: Daddy is at work.
Maxx: Why Daddy always at wurk?
Me: Well, Daddy has to work to make money for the things we need, like for food; and clothes; and toys; and if our car breaks down-
Maxx: A new CAR?!?!  That's what I want!

 

Tooth Fairy

Kyla is very interested in the tooth fairy.  Kids in her class have been losing teeth since the beginning of the school year and she can't wait to get her first loose tooth.  (Poor girl, she got her teeth late, so it might be a while till she starts losing them.)

Kyla: Is there more than one Tooth Fairy?
(before I had a chance to think of an answer)
Kyla: Is the Tooth Fairy nocturnal?

Easter

Kyla: Why does the Easter Bunny bring different things to different people?
Me: I guess the Easter Bunny knows that everyone likes different things.
Kyla: Oh.  Well, Jacky got a golden egg and I really wanted a golden egg, too.

 

Photography

I have been taking an on-line photography class (The Photographer's Workshop, by Karen Russell) and so the family has gotten fairly used to me snapping pictures continuously.  Kyla has been one of my most willing subjects and especially enjoys seeing the pictures on the LCD screen.  Tonight I just snapped a couple pics and she asked to see them.  After a quick glance, "Good ones, Mom.  You are getting really good with your turfography class." 

Why?

Maxx is getting to the "why?" stage.  Here is today's conversation when I picked him up from school and was getting him in the car.

Maxx: It not rainy.  Why?
Me: It's just not.
Maxx: But it wet out.  But d'ere not any rain.
Me: You're right.
Maxx: Why?
Me: Well, it was raining earlier, but it stopped.
Maxx: (pointing at a bird) Why the birds can fly but they not get wet?
Me: They have a special oil on their wings that helps the water slide right off.
Maxx: Why?
Me: So they don't get wet.
Maxx: Why we can walk but we no can fly?
Me: Because we don't have wings.
Maxx: Why?

At this point, he was all strapped in, so I shut his door and walked around to my side of car.  And that was the end of that conversation.

 

Protect Your Noggin

We've gotten a bit lax on the helmet issue around our house.  I'm torn.  In many ways, I think society's gotten a tad bit overprotective.  We also live on a "street" with only one other house.  Therefore it is pretty quiet; we don't get many cars and it's just a small "hill."  I see the pros, though, especially when riding near cars, or down big hills.  Kyla is kind of fearless, too.  Fortunately, she is pretty agile and very coordinated.  However, that doesn't stop her from having her occasional spills. 

Recently, I have been getting on her about wearing her helmet all the time.  Trying to instill that habit, so it's not forgotten when she's riding near traffic or so she doesn't start thinking it's not ever necessary.  I told her how we need to protect our brain and of course she had a lot of questions about the brain and what it does and why it is so important. 

So, today she was going to go ride her scooter.  I always remind her of mom's rules: no going on the walking path, stay in our driveway/yard or Jackie's (the neighbor boy) and come inside if any cars drive up.  I told her if she was going to ride her scooter, she needed to wear her helmet.

Kyla: I know.  Because if we get a crack all the way around our head (drawing a circle in the air around her face), our brains will fall out.
Me: Well, I guess that might happen.
Kyla: (giving me a playful smile and shaking her finger) Yah, 'cause everybody knows that!

Modern Families

Snow Day(s)!  Which means Jedd worked from home and the kids were home from school (all week).  Which means I had two overly energetic kids who had to be quiet so Daddy could work and make phone calls.  We survived, somehow.

Anyhow, today at lunch, Jedd turned on a recently DVR-ed episode of Modern Family.  The kids don't normally watch this show with us because it is on after they are in bed.  So we're all sitting there, eating lunch and watching the episode where Lily keeps saying the f-word (inappropriate? oops).  The swearing and all related jokes went way over their heads.  However, after about 7 minutes of watching Lily, Cam and Mitchell interacting in their home, Maxx says, "Why her got two daddies?"

To which I calmly responded (while at the same time, being completely floored by the question) that there a lot of different kinds of families.  Some are big and some are small, some have two mommies and some don't have any kids and some have lots of cousins, etc. and so forth.  A good learning/teaching moment.

Kids don't miss a thing, true.  But he's not even three years old yet; not for another 3 months.  I am amazed that he even picked up on that.

Maxx Perry, Mr. Observant.

Dreams

Just went in to Kyla's room to let her know that quiet time was over.  I found her sitting on the edge of her rocking chair, rocking a little bit.

Kyla:  You know what, Mama?  I can actually dream while I am not sleeping.
Me:  Really, how do you do that?
Kyla:  Well, it just imagines in my brain and it is like I am dreaming, but I am not asleep.
Me:  That is wonderful!