"Do pirates sometimes get seasick?"
- Maxx, age 5

"Pillows hurt my brain."
- Maxx's answer to why he doesn't use a pillow.

"I love you and everybody that I know and everybody that I don't know."
- Maxx's response to when we are all saying that we love each other.  He's covering all the bases.

Maxx has been quite certain for some time now, that he doesn't want to be a ninja or an army man when he grows up.  Pretty sure this is because we told him that there weren't really many ninjas these days and he decided it was because they were all killed.  And when asked why he didn't want to be an army man, he asked if they get "shooted."  And when it was verified that yes, sometimes they get shot at, that sealed the deal.  In the meantime, though, he's happy to play make-believe that he is a ninja or army man and will enthusiastically pretend to shoot others or get shot (and dramatically die), himself.

Recent Maxx-isms:
Mustache - mush face
Magnet - mangwret
Granola bars - grau-owa bars
Cannons - canyons
Handcuffs - Hand cups
Darth Vader - Dark Vader
Construction Workers - Destruction Workers
Unstoppable - Unstuffable
For some time now, he's been pronouncing the "l" in Kyla.  He puts extra emphasis on it so it almost sounds like Kylo.

I love that with Kyla's ever expanding vocabulary and knowledge, she still says "eever" instead of "even."  I haven't yet started to correct it.

And she can never remember the name for one of her favorite meals, pot roast.  She calls it pot wurst (a mix between pot roast and bratwurst).

Most people are old, compared to a pre-schooler

"So, Mom, are you 14 or 15 years old?"

 - My dear, sweet, innocent Maxx, age 5.

Hugs

I just got a big hug from Maxx. 

Me: Maxx, I love your hugs.  Will you always give me nice, big hugs?
Maxx: Uh huh.
Me: Even when you're a big kid?
Maxx: Yes.
Me: Even when you're a grown up, like Daddy?
Maxx: (as he's walking away) Yes.  ...if you are still alive when I am growed up.

My Way

Hearing this more and more and can no longer ignore that "it" has begun.  My opinion and influence are beginning their decline.

Kyla: Ughhhhh!  Mom, I just want to do it my own way!

Recent Stuff

Maxx gave me a card he decorated with stickers.
Me: Which one is your favorite sticker?
Maxx points to an apple sticker.
Me: The apple, not Lightning McQueen?
Maxx: I like apples.  Apples are good to eat.  Um, can I maybe have an apple?
Me: I don't think we have any apples right now.  Nope, no apples.  Sorry.
Maxx: Oh.  Okay, then, I will have some water.


Maxx:  Mom, I want you to play Legos with me.
Me:  I thought Daddy was playing with you.
Maxx:  Well, Daddy is going to weed whack the yard and Kyla is going outside to play.
Me:  If Daddy wasn't going to weed whack, would you still want me to play?
Maxx:  No, I would want Daddy.


Recently, Kyla has been playing in make believe that things get "Electrocated."  I haven't corrected her yet.  


Coming back from the park, Kyla yells, "I'm gonna run until I fall down!" and takes off on a dead sprint, falling down laughing. "Oh, that was sooo great!" 

Love the gift of seeing life through the eyes of my children. Especially since I was not exactly a carefree child when I was young.  And obviously, at that time, I didn't know how to appreciate the innocence in such absolute abandon, as I can now.


And lastly, here is the current list of "When I grow up, I want to be:"
Maxx: A policeman and a ninja
Kyla: A paleontologist

Survive

A different story of survival.  Today Maxx and I talked about bloody noses, because a classmate had one in school.

Maxx: And den dere will be blood?  And den we will die.
Me: No, you probably won't die.
Maxx: Yah, 'cause we need to survive.
Me: Yes, we want to survive.
Maxx: And da baby bird.
Me: Just like the baby bird. (?)
Maxx: Unless dey get shooted.

And that's where we conclude many conversations these days - shooting, death, destruction, etc.

Survival of the Fittest

Kyla loves learning.  Every time the class gets to pick books from the library at school, there is at least one encyclopedia-type book, if not all.  This afternoon, she was looking through a book about water creatures. 

Kyla: Whoa, the puffer fish can get so big and pointy!
Me: Yah, ouch!
Kyla: Oh, that would certainly be a big surprise for any creditors! (predators)
Me: Yes, it certainly would.

The creditors had better really watch themselves out in the wild.  Kyla is constantly telling me about how various animals protect themselves against the creditors by trickery, poison, or other crafty ways.

I haven't brought myself to correct her yet.  I find a humorous sense of justice in comparing preying creditors to wild animals attacking the seemingly less capable.

Super Power

While watching a little TV this morning, the subject of super powers came up.  I asked the kids what are their super powers.

Kyla: Caring and helping.  (so sweet)
Maxx: Fire and punching.  And smooshing things.  I just smoosh the ones dat are wittle.  (he is his Daddy's son)

Maxx:  But Ky-ya, what is yours weal super power...  to fight da bad guys?

Kyla (after scoffing and ignoring Maxx's question for a moment):  Mom my other super power is throwing things.  Like if there was a competition and it was throwing pies; I would throw them at the bad guys.
Maxx: OH!  Ky-ya, dat is a GWEAT super power!  Cause den dey can't see.  And den I will punch dem!!!

A Few Random Things

Some random things the kids say that I love:

Maxx says becept, instead of except.
Kyla calls Snoopy, Snoopy Doo. 
Maxx still calls guns bew-bews and talks about how they bew people. (a lot)

Also today, Maxx said a couple of really funny things.

Getting a pizza from Papa Murphy's with Grandma Kay in the car:
Me:  I'll just run in and get it, since I called and ordered ahead.
Maxx:  What?!?!!!  A HEAD?!?!

Technically, I did say I ordered a head... 

And later that night, opening some early b-day gifts, since Gma Kay and Papa will be out of town:
Maxx, opening his card:  Hey, no money?

In his defense, he did just last week receive Valentine cards in the mail, from both sets of grandparents, with money in each of them.  So really, they set up the expectation. 

Foreign Languages

Yesterday, I was playing cars with Maxx.  Cars is basically like playing house or dolls, only you play pretend with cars, not dolls or Barbies.  I asked Maxx where the mother was.  He said, "Oh, here.   You can be her."

Me: No, you can be her.  She's the mom to your cars.
Maxx: Um, no.
Me: But she's your cars' mom.
Maxx: But, mo-om.  I can't talk that gwurl language!
Me: You just pretend to talk like a mom.
Maxx: But, I can't say that gwurl talk cause I don't wear dresses.

 

Jokes on You

Kyla and Maxx were being silly tonight.

Kyla: Maxx, you know what never closes?
Maxx: What?
Kyla: Your mouth...  At least not when I'm around.

Excuse you!

The last two nights we've two fairly funny "potty" incidents.

While reading stories, someone passed gas. 
Me: Who tooted?
Kyla: Not me.
Maxx: It wasn't me.
Me: Really?  No one?

Both kids were adament it was not either of them.

Me: Well, it's stinky.  Someone should say, "excuse me."
Kyla:  Excuse me.

GUILTY!


Then last night the kids were taking a bath together.  Maxx said he was ready to get out, but I let him stay in and play a bit longer.  I noticed he was sitting very still and looked a little 'odd.' I almost asked him if he needed to poop, but thought, "he'll let me know if he does." Minutes later...

Kyla: Mom, I think I see poop!
Me: What?!?! Maxx did you poop?
Maxx: No.
Kyla: Well, I didn't do it!
Me: (as I'm scooping the poop out with a bath toy) Maxx did you poop in here?
Maxx: (indignantly) No!  I pooped on the other side. (pointing to the other end of the bath tub)

Showers all around.

Obviously my kids have not perfected the art of lying (and follow-through).

How You Like Them Apples?

It's all in the details and presentation is everything.

Kyla has been going through finicky eating patterns recently. Things that she didn't like, she will say she now likes, but seemingly just for the day.  Food that she has always liked, suddenly, she declares she doesn't care for, anymore.

Yesterday, in an effort to get Kyla to eat some apples, I told her I bought some special apples just for her (which I did), and the really cool part was that they are called Pink Lady apples (which they are).  She immediately wanted some!

Later when I checked on the kids, I asked Maxx why he wasn't eating his apples (one of his favorite foods).  He said he didn't like them.  I finally figured out it was because of the name (and the big deal I made out of it.  Previous to that day, I don't think I've ever told them what kind of apple they were eating.).  So I took them away and returned a few minutes later with his "new" Red Ninja apples!  He loved them.

And they are both eating apples again.

A Live Tree for Christmas

Jedd has tried for years to get me to agree to a live tree for Christmas.  I have resisted, because I had never had one and it seemed like more work.  This year, he was tricky and got the kids excited about the idea.  So we got one.  It turned out better than I had imagined.  At the nursery, there were only about 10 trees to choose from and only a few varieties.  Which made choosing a tree a fairly quick process.  While looking over the trees, Maxx looked in greenhouse and saw a guy trimming branches and a pile of tree clippings, most likely for wreaths. 

Maxx:  Oh, 'dose are da killed trees.  Look Ky-ya, 'dose trees are da killed ones.

The kid speaks the truth and calls it like he sees it. 

Leave it to Bieber

Last night while brushing teeth:

Me:  Maxx you need a haircut.  You're starting to get Justin Bieber hair.
Maxx:  Nuh-uh, Mom...  (laughing - at me) Beavers don't have hair!!!

Boys will be Men

Last month I helped out at Maxx's class Thanksgiving Feast.  After the kids had gorged themselves on sliced turkey, stuffing, corn, sandwiches cut into turkey shapes, turkey shaped cookies, pumpkin patch cupcakes and sugar cone teepees, one of Maxx's classmates turned to me.

Levi: Um, he just burped (pointing to Maxx).
Me: Yah, he does that.  Sometimes at home, he has great, big ole man burps!
Levi: Oh.  Sometimes I have great, big man farts.

Back to the Future

Something I never thought I'd hear my mom say:  "Just Google it.  You can find out all about it."

I think my jaw dropped.  I know my eyebrows raised in surprise.  I can't even recall what she was suggesting we Google.

That statement was then followed up by a confession, "I don't really know what that means.  But your father is always saying it!"

I think I just saw a glimpse of my own future, with my grown children someday...

Bathroom Talk

Kids love to talk about booties and farting, pooping and peeing, etc.  My kids are no exception.  So sometimes I will tell them, "Enough with the bathroom talk."

Since Maxx has become potty trained, we have had to get into the routine of hand washing also.  I help encourage the process and technique by singing a little song that Kyla learned at daycare, when she was potty training.

Top and bottom
Top and bottom
In between
In between
Rub it all together
Rub it all together
Now they're clean
Nice and clean

It is sung to the tune of "Where is Thumbkin," which might be another, more well known tune, but for the life of me right now, I cannot think of it.  Oh, well.

Anyhow, if I don't sing the song for Maxx right away, he will say, "Mom, can you do that wittle baffroom talk for me?"  To which I am happy to oblige.

WTF?

Sometimes the kids say things that really make me stop and think, "What the heck are they talking about?" or "Should I be seriously worried about what is going on in their little, developing brains?"

In a single car ride, we had three different conversations that kind of got me wondering...

Conversation #1:
Maxx: Oh, man, that car passed us!  Faster, Daddy, faster.  All 'dose cars passed us!
Me: It's not a race Maxx. 

We might need to hold off a little longer than normal for Maxx to get his driver's license.  With his obsession with racing and crashing, I'm thinking he might not be the safest driver.

Conversation #2:
Talking about winning and losing.
Kyla: I know.  Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Me: Right.  The important thing is that you always try your hardest.
Jedd: Yep.  Sometimes you don't win, but there is nothing you can do about it.
Maxx: You can BEW (shoot) 'dem!
 - pause to recover from shock and stifle laughter -
Me: Well, Maxx, in most situations, bewing people is not going to be appropriate.
Maxx: If 'dey pirates.  If 'dey bad pirates!
Me:  I guess if they're bad pirates...

Conversation #3:
We saw some deer cross the road, near a lake, and Jedd explained that they were probably getting a drink of water.
Jedd:  Deer go to the water in the morning and in the evening.
Kyla:  But not during the day?
Jedd:  No, they usually bed down during the day.
Maxx:  And 'dey break 'dey heads off?

Uh?!?!?!?!?!

One thing at a time

Sometimes when the kids are both asking for things or asking for something over and over again, without waiting, I will say, in exasperation, "I can only do one thing at a time!"

This morning, I was making pancakes, cutting them up for Maxx while others were still cooking, and serving pancakes to Kyla.  Maxx asked for some water, but I had to get the other pancakes out of the pan before they burned.

Maxx:  Mommmm!  Water, please!  Water.  Water!
Me: Maxx, wait!  I can only do one thing at a time.
Maxx: 'Cause you only have two han's.  (If that's how he rationalizes it...  okay.)

Maxx: Well, I wish we could build a wobot.  Den he could help you.

Is that his fathers son, or what?!?!  Jedd will be so proud.